Understanding Co-Agents – Should You Name Both Children as Power of Attorney?

It’s common for parents to struggle with this question:

“I can’t decide which of my two children should be my Power of Attorney (POA) agent. Can’t I just name them both and make them co-agents?”

The short answer: Yes, you can — but it’s usually not recommended.

Naming more than one child to serve at the same time may seem fair, but in practice, it can create unnecessary conflict, delay, and even chaos. Instead, it’s generally better to name one child at a time and list the other as a backup.

Why Choosing One Agent Is Often Best

When more than one child is given decision-making authority, disagreements can arise — even in close families.

• Healthcare disputes: Your children may not agree on what care you would want. Doctors and hospitals have little time to mediate family disagreements, and this can delay critical decisions.
• Financial disagreements: If your children can’t agree on how money should be spent, your bills may go unpaid or decisions could be stalled.

Appointing one primary agent helps avoid these conflicts and ensures decisions can be made quickly and effectively.

What to Consider When Choosing a Power of Attorney Agent

When deciding whom to name as your POA agent, focus on practical qualities, not just birth order or geography.

Choosing a Health-Care Agent

• Look for someone who can stay calm in a crisis.
• They should be able to communicate clearly and respectfully with doctors and nurses.
• They must be willing to advocate firmly for the treatment you want.
• Living nearby is helpful — but not mandatory if the person is reliable and reachable.

Choosing a Financial Agent

• Look for someone who is organized, trustworthy, and comfortable with financial matters.
• They should be able to manage bank accounts, pay bills, and keep good records.
• Distance matters less for finances, since much can be handled online — but competence matters most.

When Two Children Each Have Strengths

If you have two children and one is better at finances while the other is better at healthcare, you can split responsibilities:

• Name the financially skilled child as your financial POA
• Name the medically confident child as your health-care POA

This approach lets each child focus on the area where they are strongest.

If, however, one child is altogether more capable or available, you may prefer to name that child for both roles to simplify decision-making.

Avoiding Family Conflict

The most important thing is to avoid creating situations that could cause tension between siblings. Naming co-agents who must agree on every decision often leads to:

• Arguments about what you “would have wanted”
• Stressful delays in urgent medical decisions
• Hurt feelings and strained relationships

To prevent this, name one child as your primary agent and the other as an alternate or “successor agent” — so they can step in if the first child becomes unavailable.

Each Family Is Different

Every family’s situation is unique, and in some rare cases, co-agents may work. But for most families, naming one child at a time is the safest and most efficient way to ensure your wishes are respected without conflict.

Let Us Help

Choosing the right Power of Attorney agent is an important decision. We can help you weigh your options, explain how to avoid conflict, and create a POA that reflects your wishes.

Call us at (207) 848-5600 or visit our Contact Page to get started.