Writing a Letter of Intent for Your Special Needs Child
Writing a Letter of Intent (LOI) for your special needs child is one of the most loving and practical steps you can take for their future. This letter helps ensure that your child continues to receive the care, understanding, and support they need if you are no longer able to provide it.
As a parent, you know your child better than anyone. You understand their personality, coping mechanisms, triggers, likes, and dislikes. A well-crafted LOI captures this knowledge and passes it along to future caregivers, trustees, or guardians.
Importantly, you do not need to wait until later in life to write one. Parents of children with special needs — at any age — should create an LOI now, review it annually, and update it as their child grows. Unexpected illness or accidents can occur at any time, making it critical to have a plan in place.
Why a Letter of Intent Matters
Although an LOI is not a legal document, it plays a central role in your child’s special needs plan. It serves as a practical guide that provides caregivers with essential information, insights, and instructions.
If you are unsure where to start, consider using a template or outline available online. This structure can help you organize your thoughts and ensure you address the most important topics.
What to Include in Your Letter of Intent
When writing your LOI, think about everything a future caregiver would need to know to provide the best possible support. Below are the key categories, along with tips and examples for what to include.
1. Family History
Start by sharing your family’s story:
- When and where you were born and raised
- How you met your spouse or partner (if applicable)
- Anecdotes about grandparents, siblings, and other important relatives
- Details about when and where your child was born and raised
- Special relationships, including siblings, relatives, friends, or even pets
- Contact information for family members and close friends
Follow this with a general overview of your child’s life so far and your hopes and dreams for their future.
2. Daily Routine & Communication
Provide a snapshot of your child’s typical day:
- Morning, school, or work routines
- Best ways to communicate with your child
- Words or phrases that comfort them — and those to avoid
- List of teachers, aides, bus drivers, service providers, or employers
- Favorite and least favorite activities (for example, “loves raking leaves, dislikes folding laundry”)
This information helps caregivers maintain a sense of familiarity and consistency, reducing stress for your child.
3. Personal Care & Preferences
Describe your child’s personal needs in detail:
- Clothing sizes and preferences
- Social activities they enjoy
- Personality traits and common triggers
- How to handle discussions of serious topics like illness, death, or your absence
4. Food & Nutrition
Be specific about:
- Favorite foods, allergies, and any food restrictions
- Traditional family recipes, birthday cakes, or holiday meals
- Special preparation methods (e.g., “cut sandwiches into triangles”)
- Foods that may interfere with medications
5. Medical & Health Information
Include comprehensive medical details:
- Your child’s diagnoses and medical history
- Allergies and current medications (with dosage and purpose)
- Contact information for doctors, therapists, clinics, and hospitals
- Health insurance information and online portal login details
- Frequency and goals of medical or therapy appointments
6. Education
If your child is still in school, document:
- Current school and grade level
- Individualized Education Program (IEP) or specialized services
- Future education goals (academic, vocational, or life skills training)
- Names and contact information for teachers, aides, or programs
7. Employment Goals
If appropriate, share your vision for your child’s work life:
- Types of work that suit them best
- Ideal work environments
- Job coaches, mentors, or programs to involve
8. Government Benefits
Provide a complete overview of benefits your child receives:
- Medicaid, Medicare, SSI, SSDI, SNAP, housing assistance, etc.
- Case numbers, agency contact information, and recertification dates
- Reporting requirements and copies of financial documents
9. Residential Preferences
Describe where and how you want your child to live:
- Your hopes for keeping them at home, with family, or in a supported living arrangement
- Preferred type of housing (small group home, independent living, roommates)
- Desired geographic area or proximity to family
10. Social & Religious Life
Share details that shape your child’s quality of life:
- Hobbies, sports, favorite pastimes, and travel preferences
- How they handle money or spending cash
- Religious practices, clergy contact information, and traditions to maintain
11. Final Arrangements
Although difficult to consider, include your wishes for:
- Your child’s will or advance directives (if applicable)
- Funeral, burial, or cremation preferences
- Cemetery plot, gravestone, and religious service details
- Desired officiant or ceremony elements
12. Other Information
Think of this document as living and evolving. As your child grows, you may remove outdated information, add new details, and expand on their interests, preferences, and routines.
Making the LOI Part of Your Legal Plan
Store your LOI with your legal and estate planning documents so it can easily be found when needed. Writing this letter can be emotional — but remember, it is a gift for your child and their future caregivers. Your voice, written down, will continue to guide them even in your absence.
Need Help Getting Started?
We regularly help families create legal plans for loved ones with special needs, including preparing Letters of Intent and setting up special needs trusts.
Call us at (207) 848-5600 or visit our Contact Page to discuss your family’s unique needs and create a plan that ensures continuity of care and peace of mind.
