Should My Loved One Live With Me?
Aging in place is becoming more common, but what happens when an older loved one can no longer live safely alone? Warning signs may include:
- A cluttered or poorly maintained home
- Unpaid bills and piles of unopened mail
- Spoiled or outdated food
- Poor personal hygiene or missed medications
- Noticeable weight loss, confusion, or depression
When you see these signs, it may be time to consider whether your loved one should move in with you—or into a senior living community for added safety.
The Return of Multi-Generational Living
Even before the pandemic, more families were choosing to live together. According to AARP, 14% of adults living in someone else’s home are now parents of the head of household, double the rate from 1995. With more people working remotely, it’s easier than ever to keep an eye on aging parents.
Questions to Ask Before Moving In Together
If you’re considering having a parent move in, take time to think through important questions:
- How will it affect your spouse, children, or others in the home?
- Will personalities and lifestyles mesh, or create conflict?
- Is your home large enough, or will someone lose their bedroom?
- Can your parent live safely on one floor without stairs?
- Can they bring their own furniture and familiar belongings?
- Would modifications—like grab bars, night lights, or ramps—be needed?
Some families build a “mother-in-law” suite or even add a backyard cottage (“granny pod”) to balance closeness with privacy.
Setting Expectations for Care
Living together doesn’t mean you should provide care 24/7. At first, your parent may be fairly independent, but needs will increase with time. To avoid burnout:
- Share caregiving duties with siblings or family members.
- Explore senior support services or in-home caregivers early.
- Allow your loved one to get used to receiving help from others.
Considering Other Options
Living under one roof isn’t for everyone. Other choices include:
- Shared living with unrelated adults (like roommates).
- Retirement communities that offer independent, assisted, and full-time care.
- Senior housing options that preserve privacy while providing support.
The key is to talk as a family before a crisis—instead of waiting for a fall or sudden illness to force the decision.
Legal and Financial Considerations
If your loved one moves in or sells their home, questions to address include:
- How will sale proceeds or assets be managed?
- Should they contribute to monthly household expenses?
- Can you claim them as a dependent on your taxes?
- Who will handle bills, insurance premiums, and asset management?
Planning ahead ensures fairness and prevents conflict—so you can focus on enjoying time with your loved one.
We’re Here to Help
If you’re weighing whether your parent should move in with you—or want to explore other options—our office can guide you through the legal and financial questions that come with this decision.
📞 Call us at (207) 848-5600 or visit our CONTACT page to learn more.
